Appearance - inside out and outside in

APPEARANCE - Inside out and outside in

Interesting insights towards the explanation that - 'Your body is not YOU'
by Janelle Fletcher

Do you know the children’s game called “Beetle”? Each player rolls the dice and the numbers
correspond to a body part of the beetle with the aim of the game being to “build” the beetle piece
by piece until it is whole and complete. The thorax, head, tail, feelers and legs are each vital to
completing the game.
Attachment to your body parts
What do parts of your body mean to you and what attachment do you have to certain parts of your
anatomy? How would it be if you were to “lose” these parts or for them to become “dysfunctional”
for some reason?
Think, for example, about a woman who sees her breasts as being a vital part of her sense of
femininity and identity. What occurs for someone whose breasts change because of surgery,
breastfeeding, natural aging, weight gain, weight loss or plastic surgery? How would it impact her
sense of self, sexuality, femininity and relationship with others? According to Louise Hay, breasts
represent the principle of mothering. Problems with the breasts may imply that you are “overmothering
and over-giving of yourself” to a person, place, thing or situation. When you think about
it, when we feed and nourish our young, cuddle our children and loved ones, make love to someone
we care about, we are typically very giving of our breasts and of ourselves.
Some people may be attached to their hair. What occurs for a man, who starts balding or the
woman, who has it shaved or goes bald due to hair thinning or hair loss? According to Louise Hay,
hair represents fear and tension, and your head represents you and what you show the world. It is
how you are recognized. If you got a bad haircut or you lose your hair for some reason, what would
that mean to you? For a woman in some cultures, what would it mean to expose her head and hair?
Your skin is a sensory organ that has the function of protection and respiration. How do you feel
when you discover more wrinkles or blemishes? What would happen if you were burned or if your
face or skin areas had to be operated on leaving permanent scars? The notion of “beauty only being
skin deep” could take on a new meaning.
When you notice that you are attached to, or stressing about certain body parts, consider the
underlying meaning that those parts have for you, and apply your insights to your own situation.
Louise Hay’s work* could be of considerable help to you, but also use what your own body’s wisdom
specifically and individually tells you.

Attachment to your body’s functions and abilities
I have walked a thousand miles, literally and figuratively, with my daughter, who has a spinal injury
and has been in a wheelchair since the age of 4, as the result of a car accident that also killed her
birthmother. I sat in my house just last Saturday and once again admired her for how capably she
was looking after her two young daughters as they played at my house. In those many years, days
and hours of attending to my daughter and her needs, visiting numerous specialists and undergoing
many different therapies and supporting her in becoming independent, we were vigilantly aware of
body functions and abilities and what is means to have, or not have, the use of one’s legs to walk
and run, a bladder that functions well and sensation that enables one to know what is hot and cold,
sharp or dull.
What happens when some of your body functions aren’t functioning well or aren’t “up to your
expectations”? eg. changes to your mobility, communication, continence, mental capacity,
coordination, physical strength, fertility, sexuality, ability to work and your independence. Are you
presently experiencing particular losses of function or ability? How is that impacting you? How are
you adapting to that?
For some of you, losing your capacity to walk, work, think, speak, carry, sit and be independent in
your activities of daily living, and feeling like you have lost your identity can feel like a death. My
time with my daughter, and in my observation of others with so called “disabilities”, these people
are often the very able and capable ones, finding ways to reach their potential beyond what some
so-called “able-bodied” people would consider for themselves. They too often find new possibilities
and opportunities to work with what they have and excelling at what they do, while many “ablebodied”
muddle along in life and accept the path of mediocrity.
My advice to you is this. Focus on your “capabilities” rather than your “disabilities”. Be as
independent as you can, for as long as you can. Find ways to open the door to new possibilities for
yourself. Ask for the support that you want and need. Focus on finding solutions rather than
dwelling on what might seem disaster. Whatever your function or dysfunction, make a difference
and use the abilities you have to influence someone or some cause. Find pleasure in, and be very
grateful for what you CAN do.

Outside in principle - Attachment to how you look on the outside
How you present yourself to the outside world can say much about you, but can also hide what the
core issue really is. Reflect on a time when you really chose to look different. Perhaps you chose to
colour your hair radically, wear a very different clothing style, wear little or lots of makeup or get a
new tattoo or piercing. Reflect on what that meant for you at the time. What was your “external
presentation” saying about your “internal condition”? Did that serve a purpose for you of covering
up something, or expressing more of the real you?
When unwell, unhappy or unconfident, it is easy to let appearances slip. How about making it part
of your rehabilitation, recovery or self esteem boost to treat yourself to looking and feeling the best
that you can? Wear clothes that reflect who you are. Take pride in your appearance – whether you
are heading out to the local shop or out to dinner. Wear clothes that compliment your shape and
not ones that hide it. Toss out things in your wardrobe that don’t fit anymore, don’t look good or
haven’t been worn for ages. Stop saving your best for a special occasion. Bring out your jewellery to
complement what you are wearing and what makes you feel good. Start being adventurous with
your colour choices and wear colours that suit you and those that project the image you would like
to present. Have a haircut that accentuates your best features and that reflects your personality.
Newspapers and magazines bombard you with images of what weight and shape is acceptable
according to society’s “norm”. What this does is deny you of your individuality and appreciation of
the beauty of your feminine (or masculine) form and the notion of how awesome your body actually
is.
Weight can be an “external” demonstration of what is going on internally. What are you covering up
with your particular weight, size and shape? What pain, secret or unease do you carry internally
that you wish to hide, disguise, deny or keep hidden? Where you carry weight can be a factor of
inheritance or may be unique and individual to you, but it may also have a connection with what is
going on internally for you, or have a connection to what has occurred in your life? For someone
who has a larger bottom or carrying weight around their hips, this can relate to base chakra (energy
centre) imbalance – particularly related to family, early childhood years, safety, security and
belonging and holding onto your past or what is “behind” you.
Think of those, who have had heart attacks. In many cases these people hold their weight in their
upper bodies particularly around their bellies and chest, which constricts and interferes with the
function of the heart. Emotional issues around relationships, passion, love, emotions and grief are
possibly also factors to consider. Ask your body for some insights about your weight, size and shape
to enable you to heal from the core, lose or gain the weight you want to or love and accept your
body more and carry yourself more confidently.
Inside out principle
A baby is not concerned at the size of its mother’s breast. What it enjoys is the comfort, nurturance
and sustenance it receives by suckling or cuddling into it. A child is not concerned how big its
mother’s or father’s hips, thighs or belly are. What it enjoys is a lap to sit on and to have a story
read or some quality time spent together. A person is not so interested in how many wrinkles or
blemishes a person has, but more the wisdom gained from experiences that person has.
Have you ever met someone who just radiates health, happiness and confidence? It is not so much
how they present themselves on the outside, but it just seems to shine from within. Attitude,
thoughts, words, beliefs, having one’s soul desires met.....all of these are internal beacons that
radiate through. Conversely you can look glamorous, successful and wealthy on the outside, yet be
in poverty on the inside – unhappy, unfulfilled, lacking love and with a soul that is dying. You may
feel like a shell with no substance.

Your body is not YOU. You are not your body.
At Sunday school, we used to sing the song, “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.’ Let
your inner beauty shine through. Dare to be significant. Dare to show the world how unique you are
and how beautiful you are from the inside out.
Yes, you are made up of body parts like the beetle but your body is not you. It is however an
embodiment through which you live day to day, express who you are and is a reflection of your life
experience to date. Be in your body, but not attached to it as your identity marker. Attend not only
to the “shell” or exterior “casing” but more importantly nourish and care for yourself – your mind,
body and soul – from the inside out. The power of the inner you is your substance and sustenance
for living vitally.
*Hay, Louise September 1999 You can heal your Life. Gift Edition Hay House
ISBN 1-56170-628-0
PS As I just typed this reference to Louise Hay’s book, I received an email saying 30 years ago,
Louise’s initial “little blue book” was Heal your body. Since then, 50 million Hay House published
books have been sold. Share the profoundly powerful messages that you read which impact your
life in a positive way.
© Copyright 2010 Janelle Fletcher www.janellefletcher.com
All rights reserved worldwide. May not be duplicated or reprinted without written permission