The Trauma and the Triumph of My Wardrobe Makeover

The Trauma and the Triumph of My Wardrobe Makeover

Who knew when I decided to be the guinea pig for the many women out there who have never had an assisted wardrobe makeover that it would end up being such a traumatic journey.  What was revealed wasn't how I saw myself at all.

For the past while I had been getting increasingly cross with myself by purchasing items of clothing that attracted me by their look, the style, the fabric, in fact anything other than total need, or to fill a gap in my wardrobe.  I wondered if at my stage and age I could change and work more with a basic wardrobe and special pieces.  Buying only what I needed to maximise the co-ordination of what I already had and stop gratuitous purchases that gave me pleasure sure, but didn't totally enhance my personal style as I saw myself.

Why not go through the exercise, I thought, of engaging a stylist I felt I could trust to streamline me, my wardrobe and therefore the daily dressing dilemma.  Not to mention the trauma of packing for trips. If I could save on clothes spending and take a more organised approach wouldn't that be sensible? And then I could write about the experience and give other women the courage to do the wardrobe makeover thing either with a stylist or as Amanda suggest in her 'life in Perspective' column, with a friend.  What a lot of fun it would be.  After all, I knew my style and what suited me, I just had to get more organised - or did I?

Enter stage left as they say, the stylist Lynda, who amazingly volunteered for the job. All went well as I described to her in a preliminary chat how I saw the way I dressed - classic with a contemporary twist and more of an autumn than a winter as I had changed in skin tone as I got older...or so I thought.  So, in we sailed to the wardrobe.

What she found in there was anything but.  The classic stuff (and there was heaps of it) didn't get worn and the edgy pieces did.  Plus when I said I am not wearing red because all older women seem to have a red coat as they get older as their token nod to colour, guess what perked me up.

At the end of 3 hours talking, trying on and clothes missiles flying out of the wardrobe as rejects, I was in a state of shock.  Didn't know who I was, what my image said about me or even what my image was.  I weakly waved goodbye to Lynda and spent the night in a state of total panic.  Where to now? Was Lynda right?  Did I suit the figure skimming clothes as identified during the session by Lynda, given that I had described my shape as being slim but straight down in a line from my ears to ankles? Talk about a crisis!!!   And, if I had indeed lost my sense of fun, enjoyment of colour and creativity with dressing what did that say about me? 

Everyone around me, and especially my poor husband had to hear about my dilemma for the next few days.  Why, if everyone I asked said my style was edgy not classical, did I not know?  Why did I keep buying clothes if I didn't need them?  Why did I think because I was now older that I couldn't wear feminine clothes.  Was it years of conforming to business dressing and looking responsible and in charge. Why was my home embellished unreservedly with accessories and I wasn't.  Stylish dresser yes - creative NO!!  More about the beautiful pieces I was able to buy and the profligacy and over consumerism.  And there are people everywhere with nothing!!  Crisis time to be sure.

Now research time.  The next day, I had the fortune of being able to sit and chat with an amazing woman who was able to explain my dilemma in perfect detail - it wasn't about the wardrobe or my style, in fact the reason this website was begun in the first place was in response to a life crisis.  Rachael Feather, Jungian Analytic Psychotherapist, who has an amazing article on the website explains: "From an archetypal cycles perspective, the human life-cycle unfolds through a series of stages in much the same way as the annual seasonal cycle. Each of the four 'seasons' or stages of life – pre-adulthood, early adulthood, midlife, and late adulthood - has its own evolutionary emphasis and each is 'bridged' by a period of transition which extends over several years, a 'betwixt and between' phase characterized by change and reorganisation."
  Sounds deep I know but I knew exactly what she was talking about.  Read the rest of the article or a book she recommends 'Transformation of the Self' by Murrray Stein,

Rachael www.rachaelfeather.vpweb.co.nz in her article on the website, goes further to explain "On arrival at the cusp of late-adult transition, around the age of 59, we find ourselves once again at the frontier, facing into the unknown with the necessity to step forth and to seek new ways of being in relation to ourselves, to others and to life itself."  Sounds deep I know but it was very liberating to understand that the stage after 1. crisis, 2. 'liminality' or the betwixt and between or crysallis stages come 3. creativity.  Yeh!!

Back to Lynda - "explain in full please".  What were the alternatives to what I threw out? How could I shop better?  Spend Less? Have more of a basic wardrobe?  Stick to more of a capsule on?  And at this stage I was blown away with her professionalism, her ability to work at the speed of light, her decisiveness and her ability to define in easy to understand lists (I LOVE lists) what my choices were.  And there were choices.

Out we ventured into the midst of Newmarket to do the explanatory try on of what worked for me, colours, shapes - in fact top to toe try ons, and why not as another stylist says -"Get out there and really experiment, there are plenty of shops to do this in".  Lynda was amazing, she did all the finding, carrying, checking for sizes while I just whirled through dressing rooms like a Turkish whirling Dirvish, spinning through dressing rooms and leaving mound of clothes and accessories for someone else to tidy up.

Where to now?  I am at peace with what I like, what I want to portray, what I don't want to spend and very happy to look forward with a renewed sense of creativity and fun.  I will never lose my love of fashion and style but I will make it work for me not the other way round.

And... I found out after I had begun this exercise that Amanda 'Life in Perspective', who writes a column for this website was tackling the same issue with a friend at exactly the same time 0 here is her article.  "What does your image say about you?"   Plus Amanda has a plan for you as well in the article.

Enjoy your journey!!