60th Party - A Catalyst for a New Beginning

Why Celebrating the Age Birthdays Can Be So Rewarding

I thought it was time to hear about an aging related topic from a male viewpoint on the website.  And coming to terms with aging isn't something that only women do.  When I celebrated my 60th (just before the website was launched), I couldn't have been happier that I had done so.

Here is an account from Gavin (my Husband's) response to his decision to celebrate entering another decade with a party:

I almost didn’t celebrate my 60th birthday, there had been 59 previous ones and everything had been said some time before. It would have been a mistake, as big as any I had made before, even though I may not have been aware of the loss.

We had a dinner with friends; friends from the distant and more recent times, friends we travelled with to exotic places, friends who helped navigate the hard times and friends who helped to share the bounty of the good times. So many different times and so many friends. Looking at their faces, thinking of the dear friends who could not be there, the memories swept by in a torrent, I saw, smelt and felt all the experiences in a wave. I’m sure that it the same as your life flashing in front of your eyes just before you die. Very emotional and very thought provoking.

My three girls (two by proxy) surprised me by standing up and speaking to the room, it was their way of giving me a pass mark. That day I graduated as a Dad and Stepdad. To say it was emotional denies the power of the gift they gave; I haven’t stopped thinking about  the things they said. I was not a natural parent, I suspect many are like me; well intentioned but clumsy, awkward and somewhat inept. I recalled the angst ridden years trying to help adored children suffering their parents’ divorce, trying to guide hormone crazed teenagers through the scary years and then our young adults through the first of their ongoing disappointments and broken hearts.  I looked back and hoped they absorbed enough of the tools to get through long enough to develop their own. Big stuff and long roads.  I believed it was essential that they made mistakes and suffered consequences if they were to be the best they could be, whatever that may be. I feared to appear uncaring. Laid to rest by their kind and loving words. We are all the same, it’s no unique story but it is a big one, one we all want to do well at.
I graduated, had passed the test, they forgave all the arguments, the no’s the disappointments and I felt absolved. A huge cloud was lifted, I still feel so much lighter.

My friends, family and dear wife are the primary interests and pillars of my life. I’m not sure quite when it happened, as a younger man Jobs, houses and careers took precedence. The birthday caused reflection and became the celebration of all things; acceptance of a new life.

Perhaps acceptance is the beginning of wisdom, the beginning of a different relevance, one that I can take with me to older years? The answer hasn’t come to me yet but the thing that has become clear is that a transition has taken place, it is as it should be and that without the celebration it would be yet to happen.

Acceptance of the new role, different responsibilities and joys that come with it, has been a blessed relief and a source of optimism, the only thing that had been holding me back was the fear of the changes I could see taking place; they’re gone.

Celebrate the new, the shedding of the old; embrace your reality and the wonder of being, I hope to carry on from here to some new horizons. The celebration was the fork in the road, I took a turn and carried on; without it I would still be waiting on a green light