Who are we really? - a letter to our authentic selves

Who are we really - a letter to our authentic selves from Amanda

Last week I was out with a friend when an unexpected conversation came up. She is a single mom in the throws of a hot, new relationship, daring, controversial, tongue wagging Lesbian relationship. She is examining every aspect of her self and her life.
The conversation was based on her belief that perhaps we were not meant to be in monogamous relationships, perhaps we cant get everything from one person, perhaps we need to have fulfilment from many sources at once, and that as society changes and develops relationships will begin to look very different in the future. There are studies being done that consider these radical ideas and give weight to the thinking, support their roots, look around and we see there are so many variables around us already, so many people breaking away from what was considered the “norm”.

I read a wonderful quote this week which said “we are reluctant to live outside tribal rules so that we do not get kicked out of the tribe”

And the follow on was that; “if you only follow the rules you do not grow you merely obey!”

I was left thinking about what I believed, I consider myself a progressive open mined kind of girl, but here I am married 20 years down the line, happily I might add, monogamous too! I wonder under what circumstances I might want different things, I know I have different friends for different needs so I understand it in that context, why not in love? I was able to consider, hear and accept her point of view. I know my mom or Gran would be shocked but I realised that the world is different and people need love and acceptance. I think they need to be part of the tribe regardless of their beliefs or practice because if the tribes keep separating us, we keep destroying ourselves instead of understanding ourselves at different times in our lives. Maybe humanity is changing, maybe we need to stop fighting these changes and go with the flow so that the transition does not create resentment and anger in us. Maybe we need to do what each of us needs and let other do what they need with more acceptance and love. I wonder if we can?

Can we help other people grow regardless of our needs?
Can we love our friends regardless of their beliefs and life styles?
What would the impact be on your life if your child were to leave the tribe?
Are you facing a situation where you feel torn between your beliefs and someone close to you?
How are you dealing with it?

Look forward to meeting you, Mandy lifeinperspective@xtra.co.nz or 09 5754647