What is Your Life Purpose?

WHAT IS MY LIFE'S PURPOSE?

by Sheree Carbery - www.shereecarbery.com


This is a good question and one many women tend to ask when they reach middle age, whatever that is to you.  I know I certainly had no clue what my life purpose was for many years.  I went from one job to another thinking that one day I would find something I truly love to do and was passionate about and that day didn't come until I hit 31.  Now I know that is not middle age, well for some it may well be but for me I always knew I had so many years ahead of me and I sure as hell was not going to waste them on doing something I did not love, working for someone I did not like and getting paid a ridiculous amount of money for doing hard work.

I also knew that I didn't want to be one of these women who was a stay at home mum, tending to the household chores, cleaning up after the kids, the husbands clothes off the floor and spending endless days at playcentre and coffee groups.  So what was I going to do instead?  What did I want to do and how was I going to find out what that was? 

For many women, or perhaps for you who is reading this, you are sitting there without a clue in your mind what your purpose in life is.  I too was there many years ago and I am happy to say that I am living out my purpose now which allows me the space to write articles such as this imparting my wisdom onto other women seeking support in finding out who they are and why they been put on the earth at this time.

Perhaps your situation is that you have passed the years of playing mum, your kids are grown up, independent, perhaps have left home and don't need you anywhere near as much anymore if not at all.  Perhaps your husband works long hours to support the family or you are recently separated or divorced and although are financially secure find you spend hours, sometimes days filling up your space with menial tasks or fitting as many 'lets meet for coffee' catch ups in a week as you can.  Do you find yourself spending hours and hours cleaning the house, looking for something to do even if it's polishing grandmas precious brass ornaments.  Or maybe you spend hours in front of the television, channel surfing hoping to find something inspiring to spark your interest into some area of purpose.  Perhaps you have addictive or self sabotaging behaviours around eating, smoking, drinking or some other activity that prevents you from really knowing who you are and what makes you tick.  This can sometimes be an avoidance of what is real for you.

If you resonate with anything I've said then what is happening for you is you have forgotten who you are and have spent possibly most or all of your life tending to the needs of others, pleasing others, doing for others that you now have the time to do for you, only you don't know how or where to begin or perhaps what that even is.

Finding your life purpose is not about endless searching outside of yourself hoping that you will stumble across it in a magazine or at the local market.  Finding your life purpose is a process of elimination and remembering WHO YOU ARE and what brings love and joy into your heart.  The greatest mistake anyone makes in finding a job is that they get attracted by the money and don't necessarily follow their heart and do what they love.  Thank God as women we think from our hearts and therefore can find more purpose in our lives than that of men.  So how do you find who you are?  Good question!  Well lets begin by asking who you were before you met your husband or partner, before you had your children or before you got buried in the everyday grind of the 9 – 5.  What brought you joy?  What made you laugh?  What one thing was it that filled your heart up so much that you wanted to continue doing that thing?  For me it was dancing.  From the moment I could walk, I wanted to dance, in fact I think I danced before I walked.  I danced at every opportunity, I joined the dance group at school, I joined a dance company and I loved every minute of it.  Dance filled my heart and gave me the most sense of freedom and I was able to express myself and at times use dance as a way of expressing my frustrations with life.  At the age of 14 this was taken away from me as my parents moved us and where I ended up there was no dance school.  I won't go into the story but my outlet was missing from my life and I began to choose behaviours that were not so healthy for me such as drinking, smoking cigarettes and having sex all to cover up my intense grief of losing the one thing I loved the most... dance!

It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I found my dance again only this time coupled with alcohol in pubs and nightclubs and later in my 20's I stumbled across drugs and dance parties.  As I moved into my 30's and came across my life purpose which I will share with you shortly, I realise that I could express myself freely without all the intoxicants and I now facilitate dance for men and women that allow them to express themselves without the need for drugs or alcohol to make them feel high or inhibited in any way.

So what does this have to do with your life purpose?  When I learnt about the importance of doing what I love, no matter what, not compromising myself for the sake of doing what I thought my parents wanted me to do, or what my partner wanted me to do, or what society expected of me as a wife, mother or women, I just trusted that if I did what I truly love, the money would follow and it did.

My other love is singing and although I am not a professional singer I enjoy jamming with a good guitarist or piano player and find this another way to express myself in order to feel a sense of freedom within.  My singing became more of a hobby than a career so I do this for the joy of it and love every minute of it.

The thing I most love out of life which I discovered in my early 30's is helping people to find their life purpose which means supporting them in finding who they are, not what they want to do, but who they truly are underneath all the labels, constructs, ideas, patterns, behaviours, concepts and structures.  When you find out who you truly are then life brings you what you are meant to be doing then you can have all it is you desire.  Most people function from the viewpoint that they have to do something in order to have what they want in life which will then make them happy.  No no no, this formula is back to front and it is meant to be BE, DO, HAVE.  So ask yourself this question!  Who do I need to be which will then allow me to do what I love and have what I desire in my life?  What is the answer?  Stuck!  If you are stuck, that is perfectly natural, most people get stuck on this one, however if you continue to explore this further you will find that if you are being happy in your life, if you are being content, peaceful, joyful and coming from an abundant mentally, then quite organically without you needing to think or do a thing, ideas will begin to flow that will inspire your creativity.

If you are really stuck then what is required of you is to clear some clutter from your life and allow some space in to find your purpose.  Nature abhors a vacuum and if your inner and outer world are cluttered then there is no room for anything else to show up.  So you could start with writing down all the negative thoughts that clutter your mind and then see what happens from there.  You could then sit down with some soft music and ask if there are any negative emotions that I am carrying that need to be cleared and just breathe deeply until these shift.  Perhaps you are inhibited by your physical body and this requires some attention. Are you going to listen?  If you need help with this, there are ways, not therapy as there is nothing wrong with you, you are not broken.  There are other ways to release stored up emotion, mental patterns and physical issues so that you feel clear to live your lifes purpose.

It is never too late, I know women who have stumbled across their life purpose in their 80's and they are contributing to their lives and the lives of others in ways they could never have imagined and they get to leave this world knowing they have made a difference.

So what difference are you willing to make to you to take some time to really sit with what is true for you and your purpose.  Everyone is put on the earth with a clear purpose for their life.  What is yours?  If you were to take a piece of paper and write this question down, “if life were to give me my purpose and I were to step out of the way, what would that purpose be?” and if you were to ask that question over and over again and write down everything that came up until you were empty then you have the answer.

For me, when I underwent this process, I came to these simple words.  “My lifes purpose is to be Freedom and Love” and I thought, how ridiculous, how is that a lifes purpose and how will I ever make money out of that?  And yet I trusted the process and allowed myself to come from the place of my purpose being something about freedom and love.  Well only a couple of years later I found my place in life and I now work with people to access their own sense of freedom and love from within.  I work as a Facilitator of Consciousness holding workshops, retreats and one on one sessions guiding people into greater awareness, greater consciousness and a deeper knowing of who they are and what their purpose is.  For my clients, I resonate the energy of Freedom and Love.  Who would have thought!  When you find your true sense of purpose, everything else is effortless.  I wish you all the very best in finding YOU!

Written by Sheree Carbery
www.shereecarbery.com

About Sheree:
Sheree Carbery, a regular contributor to this website, is a facilitator , speaker,   presenter and wellness expert.
Sheree works with individuals and groups, supporting others on their journey to healing and self discovery by drawing on the wealth of knowledge and wisdom that she has acquired and developed both through her dedicated study and her own life. Sheree facilitates a wide menu of events and retreats or coaches individually.