Feelings - Nothing More Than Feelings

Feelings - Nothing More Than Feelings

by Jenny Devine

One of the characteristics of being human is our ability to feel, to experience emotion and to be able to understand and to make sense of what it is that we’re feeling. Being able to accurately gauge our emotional state is a critical part of the “awakening” or awareness process. The ability to be able to feel emotion is viewed as such an essential part of the healthy human experience that we would judge anyone who appeared to have “no feelings” or to be “emotionless” as somewhat pathological.
Thus, as human beings we are all very skilled at assessing, acknowledging and understanding what we are feeling. Right? Actually, in my experience as a coach and facilitator, I would have to say an emphatic, NO. In fact, I would go so far as to say that, in general, we human beings are lousy at acknowledging and understanding what we are feeling. I think there are several reasons for this:
• We’re too busy and too buried. For most of us, from the time we wake in the morning until we drift into sleep at night, the logical, analytical and rational mind plays continually like the old cassette in the tape deck; it’s hard enough to find the pause button, let alone the stop button to turn the noise off. The logical mind is very effective at blocking access to feelings, thus, we’ve become very good at thinking and not so good at acknowledging what we’re feeling.
• Feeling can be painful and as humans we have a natural aversion to pain.
• As children, most of us are not taught or encouraged to feel and to be guided by what we are feeling.
So, why should we feel? What’s so wrong with living in a thinking world? The answer, I believe, lies in the unfolding of human consciousness. If we are truly committed to turning up the dimmer switch of consciousness (or awareness) then we must learn to be in tune with who we are as human beings - and human beings are much more than their thoughts! If we are to choose to be increasingly conscious beings we would experience the full spectrum of what it is to be human: to experience, to intuit, to feel, to know, to be aware, to understand, to receive and so on.
Feelings are neither wrong nor right; they just are. Feelings are our guides. They show us how to treat ourselves; how to take care of the precious beings that we are. When I experience a feeling of sadness I’ve learned to not judge it but to be extra loving to myself. When I feel a sense of discontentment or restlessness I know it’s time to reassess my life. When I feel angry I’ll grab my son’s boxing gloves and release it all on the punching bag.
We never know which emotion will show up at any time. But I’ve learned that simply by seeing and acknowledging “who” has come to visit I give that emotion permission to move through me and not get stuck. We only need to observe little children to understand the speed that emotions can move at; frustration, rage, contentment and joy can all blow through children in a few minutes.
In his poem The Guest House (The Essential Rumi by Coleman Barks), the great Sufi poet, Rumi, tells us that this being human is a guest house. “Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all!” No matter how dark the emotion, Rumi believes we should meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. “Be grateful for whoever comes” he urges us “because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”

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